Sad Clown

This was a crying sort of night. It came after a gnashing-of-teeth sort of day. I spent most of the evening in Tuesday Night Class On Wednesday, and helping a bunch of freshmen cook things in the kitchen. They all wore aprons. It was so cute. I like them. And also in the coldest, most people-less places I could find. Because acting happy sucks.

'Say how's the weather, so I look out the window
To brighten my soul, but I can't control the rain
That keeps falling
Smile on the outside that never comes in
A comedy, mystery, irony, tragedy
So I scream "let the show begin"'
(Jars of Clay)


Fortunately it was rainy, cold, and dark in Eugene today, so I had the right backdrop.

Its so weird. It's not at all easy to admit you aren't God. But it solves sooo many problems. Except I still don't know how I should treat the people I will be sharing the universe with tomorrow morning. That bothers me. But I think (now) that I will live.

"Peter Pan will save me."